When Heroes Aren't Perfect
In the olden days (when I was a child), it was believed the nation would crumble if our patriotic heroes were anything less than perfect. Today, we’ve swung completely to the other side, to the point that our children might think everyone in our nation’s history was evil. As homeschoolers, we’re not required to use politically correct textbooks. We can build our own history curriculum. Is there something in the middle of the two extremes?
No one living on the earth today is perfect. We don’t expect perfection of ourselves. Why must we expect perfection of our nation’s past leaders? There is no reason to lie to children, who will learn soon enough that we did lie. On the other hand, nothing is to be gained by setting out to leave the impression that all things American are evil. Our children live here; they need to have respect for their nation and its history. A thinking parent can put together a history that balances the good with the bad.
Let’s take a look at slavery, often an area of concern for parents. George Washington and Thomas Jefferson owned slaves. Abraham Lincoln wasn’t certain we had the right to end slavery, even though he hated the practice. On one hand, we can take the politically correct way and call these men hypocrites, but what purpose would be served? We can also hide these facts, but they won’t stay secret for long. Instead, take time to discuss them openly with your children. Learn how people felt about slavery in those times. Why did some people support it? Why did others oppose it? If a person owned slaves and then changed his mind about doing so, what were the consequences of freeing his slaves? This takes careful research and analysis. Help your children see these events and these people in the context of their times, not our own. It’s not fair to judge someone as if he lived today.
Make sure, as you let your children become aware of the bad, that you balance it with the good. Nearly everyone has good, and our leaders, with all their faults, also had extraordinary qualities that they gave to the benefit of our nation. Help them learn how our nation is better because of choices these people made.
A balanced hero, one neither perfect nor evil, is a far better role model than someone who seems to be all of one piece. It is far easier to identify with someone who has some faults, since we all have them ourselves. Children can learn that they can make a difference, even if they might make bad choices or have some growing to do. They can learn to identify the ways they are influenced by the ideas of their own times, good and bad, and evaluate ways to rise above the false ideas sometimes presented as truth in our own time. People in those times were told slavery was okay, when it wasn’t. What, in our time, is presented as okay when it isn’t? This opens the doors for some outstanding moral discussions with your children.