I'm a Terrible Homeschool Mom!
We all have days like that, when we think we are the worst homeschooler in the entire world. After all, we know someone who plans these really fantastic lesson plans, keeps a perfect house, writes a best-selling novel, and sends her totally homeschooled child to Harvard...before breakfast yesterday. Some homeschooling books, especially the older ones found in most public libraries, are filled with stories of perfect homeschooled children and perfect homeschooled parents. You don't measure up. Are you a terrible homeschooler or just normal? Check out the following statements many discouraged parents make:
1. My house is a mess!
Oh, well, that is just part of homeschooling. Most of us struggle with messes because we need so many supplies and because our children spend more time playing than watching television. Even if your kids went to school, your house might be a bit of a mess just because educational toys are messy. Paint is messy. Clay is messy. Building toys are messy. A box full of junk that can be used for inventions is messy. Some people are better at others than controlling the mess, but that has nothing to do with your skills as a teacher.
What isn't messy? Letting your children watch television all day. Sending them off to play with friends all day. Letting them spend their days in lessons so they are never home. These things aren't messy, but they aren't the best lifestyle for kids either. A messy house can be a sign of a brilliant parent. Disorganized maybe, but brilliant!
To help out, tell your children they have to pay for their homeschooling. I did this, because homeschooling is a lot of work and takes a lot of time. Private schools cost money and homeschools are private schools. Instead of money, charge them extra chores. Remind them that they will want to learn a lot in order to get their money's worth.
2. I sometimes lose my temper.
Yes, sometimes everyone loses her temper. We are people. What we do for a living is stressful and difficult and sometimes we get frustrated and angry. Sometimes school teachers do too. My daughter once had a teacher with a temper. After hearing some parents complain, I asked my daughter about it, since she was quite young. She laughed and said, "Oh Mommy, it isn't mean yelling, it's just mommy yelling. We think it's funny." So, everyone gets mad once in a while. If your kids know you love them, they will survive.
When you get mad, put yourself in timeout. (Your kids will think that's funny if you put it that way.) Ask them to work quietly for ten minutes while you go to time out. Then take a deep breath and relax. If you're really keyed up, give your kids a fun project to do and back out, or just take the day off. Sometimes when I was having a particularly bad day, I announced a field trip day. We went out and had a good time learning together, away from home. And sometimes we really cheated and went to Disneyland instead of studying.
3. Sometimes the kids hate my lessons.
It's so hard to guess what will go over. Brilliant lessons I've worked two months on bombed and lessons I threw together in a panic when I had nothing to teach were hits they still talk about. Kids...who understands them? The longer you teach, the more often you will guess correctly. Don't worry about the mistakes though. They happen. Every lesson doesn't have to be fun and brilliant. If you are feeling really insecure, go buy a thematic unit book at the local teacher supply store. Then if the lesson bombs...you have someone else to blame!
4. My kids are only average, or even behind.
Sometimes it seems like homeschoolers are all brilliant and advanced, but they aren't. They run the normal span of intelligence, ability and motivation. Your child might be behind because he isn't developmentally ready to do what the public schools do. (Many public schools have children working far outside what they ought to be doing at their age.) He might be more interested in something else at this time. He might have a learning disability. As long as he continues to make progress, you are doing fine. Let him progress at his own pace. It's the best part of homeschooling.
5. Sometimes I hate _______ (planning lessons, teaching, being so busy, my kids....)
Yeah...me too. But only sometimes. We all have days when we're less than perfect, but that is a part of life. Give yourself permission to say, "Well, that didn't go so well." Then move on and hope for a better day. Over the course of many years, you will realize most days were okay. Today won't even matter by the time it's all over, but the long-range picture will be wonderful.