Kindness Begins With Me

Sarah Palin has started up the Mommy Wars again. Does she have a right to run for office when she has children who need her? Notice no one is asking this of Obama.

Let's start with me, so you know my biases. I was a stay-at-home mom by choice. It was a more common choice when I made it, but becoming more rapidly an uncommon choice and it seems few of my peers made that choice. I feel that whenever possible a woman should stay at home while her children are at home.

That said...I'm not willing to attack Palin for the choices she's made, just because they're different from mine. She's running for vice president, not Mommy of the Year, and if we aren't asking whether running is bad for the male candidate's children, we shouldn't be asking it about the woman's children.

The world is different than it was when I was growing up. I was in junior high before I ever had a friend with a "working" mom. Today, most kids have them, even in conservative circles. I was at home, but I launched a writing career for a while during that time, and my first book was written when all three were still at home, on deadline, while life was hectic. So who am I to judge?

I am a religious person. I believe I can pray and ask God what He wants of me. I don't believe He always wants the same thing for every person or the same thing at the same time. We each have a personal, individual plan for our lives beyond the big major one, created by someone who knows us better than we know ourselves.

I believe that sometimes there is a greater good and that once in a while that greater good requires someone to do something they wouldn't normally choose to do. For instance, when I started my writing career, I didn't really want to. I liked writing just for fun, but I felt strong impressions that I needed to do it. I did, began getting sales, and just as things were on the brink of real success, the Spirit said, "Okay, now stop." That made no sense to me--at the time.

Here's what happened. Eight years later I was asking God when it was time to start my career again. The answer was soon. Shortly after that, I got offered a book contract. But that moment was the wrong time for it. My oldest was getting married, I was getting ready to move 3000 miles right after the wedding, my husband had to leave three months earlier than I did, since I had to stay for the wedding plans and for my second oldest to finish her college semester. (She was sixteen.) I didn't want to write a book on a tight deadline under contract at that exact moment, but the Spirit was firm. Now.

I wrote it.

So why did all that happen? Later on, when the book came out, we found ourselves facing financial crisis due to a contract ending much sooner than expected. I began receiving royalty checks right when we needed the money. Without it we might have ended up homeless. So there was a bigger picture I couldn't see, and the preparations started way back when my children were small and I needed some writing credentials for the future.

And so, I know not to judge why another woman is working. Perhaps Sarah Palin has something to do with a greater good we know nothing about.

Either way, kindness means I trust her to make the best decision, as she sees fit, for her family. She's a Christian. I'm sure she knows how to pray and I'm sure she did. So, I will stay out of judging her choice and let her do what needs doing.